Lola Ganda: The Heart of My Purpose

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” - Jamie Anderson

It’s been 4 years since my grandmother passed away, and 3 years since I released her memoir. On this day, I look back at her with longing, solace and complete adoration; I see her smiling eyes, hear her soothing voice and hearty laughter reverberating in the corners of my mind and the depths of my heart, and feel her motherly embrace and hand meticulously crafting my timeline.

Until this very day, all the lessons she learned, stories she told, and values she inculcated continue to provide me with my safe harbor and anchor. Harshly made aware of the fragility and mortality of life as well as the reality of time being finite back in 2020, I put one foot in front of the other with purpose and love on the road less traveled. Because of my grandmother, I feel the world very deeply, and am able to notice when synchronicities pop up in my life whatever the permutation might be.

Thank you Lola Ganda for being my grandmother and my source of sunshine, a distillation of life’s energy that continuously supplies and fills me with all the love in the universe. I never run out, and as a result, am a walking love letter with a bigger, bolder and better idea of where I belong in this stretch of time and possibly even beyond my own lifetime too. Like trees in the forest, each with a unique ring print, same with humans, each with an unrepeatable fingerprint and a dream that differs, not one is more important than the other because each is special and therefore irreplaceable.

Having reflected on what I’ve learned from my grandmother and how Lola’s unconditional love continues to play out in my own life, I can confirm that the body really has this inner knowing; it’s important to take care of it and listen to it as it is a powerful way to use the imagination and experience the fullness of life. And I’ve realized: for my body to live and make the right decision(s), I need to give it what it needs: love - exactly what the world needs more of too!

I hope and pray that I make you proud, Lola! Until I see you again.

Kate Cabigao