Summer Lovin’ (not a fling btw)
Don’t we all look so happy (and tired from all the wine talk)?! <3
Lately, I’ve been avidly following this Instagram Account called “the Good Quote” (@thegoodquote) because of the positive reminders and #realtalk it floods my Instagram newsfeed with. I came across a post that stood out to me because it articulates exactly what I feel about those who are currently in my life: “unexpected friendships are the best ones.” I couldn’t agree more! I made some of the most unique and unexpected friendships this past year. And fortunately, these friendships continue to blossom so beautifully!
I’d like to highlight that, oftentimes, we forget to look at who and what we have in the present. We tend to focus more on what we don’t have and who left long ago – it’s human nature to do so after all. To combat and unlearn this habit, I made it a point to write down a list of things I’m grateful for to remind myself of my blessings each day or week.
FYI, here are some exercises I’ve used in the past that help emit feelings of gratitude and contentment:
1. Reflect on and write three good things that happened to you at the end of each day, and why you think each good instance happened.
2. Write what you like about yourself (i.e. a list of your strengths).
3. Plan out and write down three acts of kindness you purposefully but wholeheartedly did each day.
4. Create a list stating at least five things you are grateful for the day or week, and why.
It’s essential that we do the above because it’s so easy to become complacent and ungrateful whenever we get distracted by our surroundings, particularly what other people say and have that we ourselves do not. It’s normal to make those comparisons but isn’t exactly the healthiest move either as it can lead to envy, resentment, and other internalized negative emotions. Whom we should keep our eyes on is ourselves! Amen!
As someone who is still a work-in-progress, I am immensely grateful for my longtime friends (especially Paolo, Nico, Jenny, Alyzza, A-John, Joanna, Maria, and Alex) who continue to stay by my side, and for my new-found friends (like Kim, SY, Mika, Maita, and Suyen) who sprung into my life and brought so much joy, enlightenment, and a new sense of hope. Shout out to all these friends for being a significant part of my summer! It’s been wild! I will never forget those deep conversations, events we attended together, and other adventures that bonded each and one of us closer to one another! I don’t think they realize how they’ve impacted me this summer… And it might not be obvious to them, but internally and personally, I see a big difference in how I view and handle my friendships and relationships because of them. I treasure you lot for teaching me to be more open-minded and understanding as a friend!
This summer was made more Epicurean thanks to them! (Btw, Epicurus is a philosopher, and he asserted that to be happy, we only need three ingredients: have a set of true friends whom we can live life with daily, be independent and self-confident by separating ourselves from societal pressures/the commercial world, and live life constantly reflecting and acting on our concerns. I second his assertion!)
Having friends that you can be silly and serious with, shallow and deep about life with, does wonders to your overall mental health and well-being. I saw a huge improvement in the quality of my life the moment I let go of those who weren’t exactly the healthiest people for me the way I wasn’t for them, so that made room for those I got along with and can grow with. However, it’s vital to not harbor ill feelings towards those we cut off. Otherwise, you will remain bitter, vengeful, and ungrateful. That’s the kind of state and energy to stay away from. If you set others free and let them live their lives, you will find that you are setting yourself free too, until one day, you’ve healed completely, are grateful for that, and at peace with the way things are! If everyone around you is happy, it will be easier for you to be happy too (yay!). Honestly, I only learned to forgive wholeheartedly recently because I got to know God better through Cathy (a good friend of mine I mentioned two entries ago) and my spiritual mentor, Ms. Vertido. All the books, worksheets, and lectures Ms. Vertido gave me this summer transformed my way of thinking and understanding the meaning of life, particularly how to value and manage human relationships. When you’re grateful enough for what you have and have come to terms with what you don’t have, you can put everything into perspective and achieve forgiveness more easily. The past will make sense to you and so will the present. Everything will link up and be as it should be.
Let me reiterate though that it is reasonable to cut off those who are toxic to you and whom you are toxic to moving forward… Only you know what’s best for you. And it is OK to prioritize your own growth (health is wealth ya know). Don’t be afraid to make some healthy cuts if that’s what you need to do because what’s yours will surely find you and stay by your side no matter what. Only real friends will understand and if they’re meant to be in your life forever, they will drift back to you somehow! You just got to have some faith and everything will fall into place, friends.
