Say Goodbye to Glossophobia!

Public speaking is probably one of my greatest fears to this day.

If there's one thing that has changed, it would be how I handle it.

This past semester has been extremely challenging. I had to confront this learned irrational fear of mine on a weekly basis. Delivering presentations while standing in front of what seemed to be an intellectual, judgmental and intimidating crowd was just horrifying. 😓

One day, my fear got the best of me and it felt like the end of the world. 😨 It was the longest pause I ever made. In the middle of one of my science presentations, I stumbled and found myself at a loss of words. I lost track of my thoughts, my script and everything else including my grammar just went downhill. 😲 I stuttered and stopped. All I could hear was my heartbeat. My mind was clouded with fear, shame and self-doubt. At that point, I was secretly devastated but I still kept my pokerface on. I decided to just go with the flow and finish this presentation with a bang. I breathed deeply, smiled and continued from where I left off. Instead of sticking to what I practiced and recited before the actual presentation, which I found does not work for me anymore, I improvised. I spoke truthfully about what I knew of this topic and added personal insight to make it as authentic as possible. Sometimes, keeping things simple and concise is much more effective. I ditched my script and treated the rest of my presentation like a conversation.

The idiot from my last blog post noticed how affected I was after my presentation. She told me something that helped me come to terms with this weakness, which I think we should all take to heart:

“You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." 😀

For once, she's right! 😜 We're all braver, stronger and smarter than we realize. We just underestimate ourselves at times by amplifying our fears and weaknesses in our heads. It's all in the mind and the mind can be dangerously powerful.

Even if I felt like that presentation was disastrous, Sienna my tough cookie and brutally honest friend, did not notice the mistakes in my presentation until I told her about it. She assured me that I did perfectly fine and that she was, in fact, impressed by how I kept the show going with a calm demeanor from the outside. I did not give up and I should never have to. This made me realize that it is ok to screw up sometimes as long as you stand back up and fight back. We do have the power to make things better for ourselves. It's a choice after all. I managed to convince myself that the next time I have to present or speak to or in front of a crowd, all I have to do is speak from the heart and think less about my surroundings. Everything will be just fine. It really is all about believing in yourself and everything you say. To speak with conviction, authority and passion shows true confidence.

If there's one thing that I'm absolutely grateful for and still shocks me to this day, it would be the support and trust that the NYU Steinhardt faculty has given me. When I was asked to speak in the Education Studies panel session, I was hesitant at first. It is such an honor to be asked to represent freshmen from the Ed Studies major for Weekend on the Square, but was also absolutely terrifying having to speak in front of faculty members, parents and incoming freshmen. My advisor expressed how much she believed in me and so did my friends. That woke me up. There must be a reason why they do so I went for it because it's about time I step out of my comfort zone and see how far I can go.

It turned out to be the most pleasant session of my life. I did not know that I could speak like that. I just had so much to say about my major and first year. I said what was in my heart, shared some of my struggles, learnings and positive experiences. This was not to sell the major to them, but more so to reassure them that it is perfectly normal to be scared and feel lost at first. University is intimidating at first sight, but at the end of the day, you come out stronger and more sure of yourself. It is especially exciting because you meet the most compassionate, resourceful, driven and genuine people out there too. It is your time to focus and work on yourself -- the only time you have to better and further yourself in every aspect of life. NYU is my mecca and university eventually becomes home to all. The lifetime friendships I made coupled with the valuable lessons I learned from them (especially Sienna) challenged and changed my outlook in life. She believed in me before I did. Everyone needs that one friend and a supportive community like this in university. We all need that one friend to get past our shortcomings (i.e. emotional baggages, fears and weaknesses). I learned to keep the show going even after stumbling. Ultimately, believing in yourself and self-trust starts from within and things only soar from there... when you're in the right place with the right people at the right time. 😊

With my favorite idiot. 😘 Thanks for always believing in me!